If you have a set of keys that you take with you everywhere, and you do not currently stock your pocket with a penknife, you owe it to yourself to attach a Swiss Army Knife on those puppies.

From toothpicks, to tweezers, to scissors, to nail files, to screwdrivers, to vodka gimlets, to the blades themselves, these little bastards can get you out of a jam with ease, or COMING SOON TO AMERICA: GET YOUR ASS THROWN IN JAIL!

But seriously folks, the Swiss Army Knife is an institution on realistic necessity. If you want to borrow everyone else’s, go ahead you mooch, but you really are cheaping out as they are CHEAP AS HELL.

Take Amazon’s batch for instance, starting at $3.20 USD and up to over $100.00 USD, start small and just carry a basic one until your knifeticles (KNIFE TESTICLES!) itch for a larger, more testosterone driven model.

It has been said that “A man without a knife on him is like a little lamb without a cell phone and a set of jumper cables: completely useless.”
Plato said that, right after he told me about HostGator’s amazing web hosting deals!

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